I was taken for an abortion at the age of 13 after being sexually assaulted. My parents were devasted and looking for help and the only help that was offered was an abortion. I had never heard the word abortion before and had no idea what it was. Once in the clinic, I was separated from my parents.
The only thing I remember them talking about was a clump of cells. I had no idea what they were talking about. The abortion was painful and my mom listened to me screaming only to be told she couldn’t help me. That resulted in her being put in a psych ward for two weeks.
My dad had to carry his bloody daughter over his shoulder out of the clinic and we wanted to forget that day. My family fell apart after the abortion. The abortion would follow me into my marriage and almost cost me everything including my life. I felt so unworthy to be a mother and a wife. I didn’t even know I was allowed to grieve.
I had been told that abortion would fix my rape, but the abortion was worse than the rape. I couldn’t help what someone did to me but it’s a heavy weight to carry knowing you were part of ending a life. I turned to so many things to numb my pain.
One night I had an encounter where God saw me as a broken woman who was abortion wounded and lavished me in His love. After over 30 years of pain and suffering, I’m healed and free! God has turned my pain into purpose. I now can tell Elliana’s Grace story to give her dignity and help other women around the world heal and become from. I praise God for his grace. This is why I’m silent no more