(I was raised a Catholic.  My father was often absent and verbally/physically abusive.  He was in the Marine Corps and an alcoholic.  He often told me that if I was not his daughter, he would definitely be interested in me...  Later in my life, after years of psychotherapy, I would discover I probably was sexually abused.  Although, I have blocked out images):

The boyfriend was 20 years old, and I was 17 years old, (just before I graduated from high school), when I became pregnant.  (My sister at 15 year of age just had a child, my father went crazy!  He always told us; that boys only wanted one thing... If we became pregnant we were out of the house!!... And, that's just want happened to my sister. My parents then divorced).

I was afraid to tell anyone other than my sister.  There was pressure from the boyfriend; not to keep the child, because he was not ready and did not want it.  I was so afraid, as I saw my sister and her now husband struggling to survive.  I had nowhere to turn and the boyfriend pressured me.  

The boyfriend took me to both appointments.  During the procedure, I was so frightened, was shaking, and confused.  The nurses told me not to worry I would be fine, and that when I woke up I could go home and everything would be okay.  Deep down, my Catholic upbringing and faith told me this was wrong. 

After the procedure, I felt a great loss, was weak, drained, sick to my stomach with grief, and was not physically or emotionally okay.  The boyfriend presented me with a rabbit coat, (he had no money...), he drove me home in my car, and walked me to my doorstep and went home.

Months later, I married the manipulative boyfriend (my escape).  Soon to be divorced.  I continued to feel loss, guilt, shame, feeling "less than", and had several failed relationships.  But, my Love and Faith in God remained within me.

In 1983, I remarried.  I found help and forgiveness in 1984, through counseling and at confession.  My penance was to help the "Visitation House" (safe house for women and children), through our parish.  I would prepare meals for abused women and children.  Shortly after in 1985, I became pregnant.  In 1999, after 15 years of marriage and two children, we divorced.  (My alcoholic husband left me for another woman).  He then died in 2005, and I felt such sadness, loss and grief.

Recently, I became a Grandmother.  I thank God for this blessing in my life.  Many emotions surfaced... When I saw the "Silent No More" program on January 7th, 2011.  The tears flowed and I realized I needed to share my story.  If I can help someone out there, it would bring great joy to me!

God and my Catholic faith have helped me.

I thank you for allowing me to share my story.