Jon's Testimony
I was 17 years old when we made this decision. I felt there was no possible way that I could raise a child. I remember sitting in the abortion clinic, thinking to myself, “This isn't right.” I never said anything to Della. I just sat there saying nothing, feeling shame. I hoped I was doing the right thing, not knowing the horrible regret from this decision.
We went on with our lives and got married, but never talked about it. I tried to forget about it, thinking it would eventually go away. I was wrong. I blamed myself for not standing up for my baby. Inside, I felt shame, and I blamed myself for being a coward.
But we never talked about it. I am not making any excuses for what we did. I totally take blame for this abortion. There are many days of regret for this decision. I have much sorrow and despair.
Later in life I was baptized in the Catholic Church. When I was baptized, the abortion, the loss of our beautiful child who I miss so much, was the one thing that I was ashamed of. But I am so thankful to God for forgiving me for this terrible sin.
Please don’t ever abort your child. Life is so precious. Abortion will change your life forever, and if you have had an abortion please turn to Jesus for his forgiveness and mercy. Rachel’s Vineyard is where Della and I began our healing journey. You can have a peace in your heart knowing someday you will meet your child in Heaven. Again, a child is the most precious gift from God. A precious child is the ultimate gift that we all share together in our world. We should always stand for life and not the emptiness of the culture of death through abortion.
If our story can save someone else from having an abortion, that would be so great. Because, to this day, I still wonder what kind of person our child would have been.
That is why we are Silent No More.
Della's Testimony
It has been 43 years since my husband Jon and I made the terrible choice to abort our baby. We both had experienced trauma in our childhood.
We met in my senior year in high school. I was graduating. Graduation is supposed to be one of the happiest times with so many beautiful memories for me. I want you to know that when I look back at my graduation year what always comes to my mind is the murdering of our daughter, Mary Elizabeth. I will never be able to forget that trauma.
Like lot of teenagers, Jon and I didn’t think of the consequences of having sex. After discovering I was pregnant, we chose abortion. We never thought twice about our decision, not knowing we would be wounded for the rest of our lives.
I have blocked out most of what happened at the abortion clinic. I remember other women in agony, crying and despairing. Just like our babies, my life and the lives of all those other women were sucked out of us during our abortions.
When I walked out of the clinic that day, I was not the same person. I hated myself and did not care about others like I should have. How can you care about anyone or yourself when you just took the life of a helpless baby? I also knew once a life is created, it exists forever. I totally separated myself from GOD.
Jon and I ended up getting married after the abortion, but we didn’t talk it about for years. It was something that was too hard to bring up, and we never knew how to share our feelings of regret with each other. Angry and unable to forgive ourselves, we caused our children to suffer.
After attending the March for Life seventeen years ago I finally experienced the true forgiveness from my abortion. I went to confession, and the priest told me I had to let go of this sin, if I truly believed the Lord died for me and that there was no sin greater than God’s Mercy. Instantly, I felt the Holy Spirit touch my heart. When I came out of the confessional I had such a different feeling, one I hadn’t experienced in 22 years. I have also attended a Rachel’s Vineyard retreat, and Jon and I are now lead facilitators for Rachel’s Vineyard that help so many women and men to know god’s Mercy and unconditional love.
When I felt GOD calling us to go out and give the testimony of our abortion, we realized that our daughter, Angela, was born on January 22nd, the anniversary of Roe vs. Wade. Angela was the 1st baby we had after the abortion, and we feel the birth of our daughter is a triumph over that Supreme Court decision, which has led to the loss of so many precious lives, like her sister, who we have named Mary Elizabeth.
Jon and I know we will have to forever live with the decision and mourn the loss of our daughter Mary Elizabeth. Through the Grace of God he restored and forgave us. He has walked with us. Please know that with a repentant heart God has truly given us the strength to forgive ourselves. But more than that I would like to thank you all for offering Grace to me for what I have done and listening to my testimony.
We as a nation have to stand up for these precious, innocent babies and the women and men that suffer. That is why we are Silent No More!