My Heart Turned to Stone

  Paul
New York,  United States
 
  I lost two children to abortion when I was in high school.

The first time my girlfriend was pregnant we didn’t tell anybody because we were afraid of how our parents would react – and by the time we told them - she was in her fifth or six month of pregnancy

Believing they were doing the right thing for their daughter, her parents took her to have a “therapeutic” abortion.

And I will never forget that weekend, because on Friday… she let me put my hand on her belly, and I could feel our baby moving around.
And when I saw her on Monday … our baby was gone.

I can’t even begin to tell you how devastated I was when she told me what had happened.

The second time she was pregnant, we went to Planned Parenthood thinking we could get information on parenting.

Once we walked through the door, the only thing the nurse talked about was abortion.  She told us that in the first trimester our child wasn’t formed as a human … that it was just a clump of organic cells.  She showed us diagrams of what this mass of tissue supposedly looked like.  She told us that because it wasn’t human at that stage, having an abortion shouldn’t conflict with any religious belief we might have.  And when we asked about parenting classes … she made us feel like bringing a child into the world at our age was the most foolish thing we could do.  “You are too young to be parents,” she kept repeating.

Then she brought out the appointment book … and a few days later we lost a lifetime with our second child.

My heart turned stone cold after the second abortion.

For the next several years I dealt with the pain through massive alcohol consumption. 

Truth is … I almost drank myself to death trying to ease the pain.

Over 10 years ago I completed an abortion recovery Bible study called Healing a Fathers heart. It was one of the best investments of time I’ve ever made because it gave me the tools I needed to cope with my loss.

But to this day I have nightmares of the experience...  And I mourn for the children I never knew…For that reason I am silent no more!

   
   
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