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Rhonda
Bahamas
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At age 18, I became pregnant by my then boyfriend. At first, I did not know what was happening to my body but, after some research, I thought I was pregnant. I went to the doctor to confirm what I thought. He said that I was pregnant, and I guess I appeared fearful or not enthusiastic. He asked what I would do, and I said I did not know. He recommended abortion, saying that it was quick and safe. I said yes.
The procedure was scheduled, and I arrived at the hospital with a family member. I had arranged for someone else to pick me up, telling them that I was having a growth removed from the top of my head. The procedure was quick. I was placed under local anesthesia. When I woke up, it was over and I tried not to think about it. I truly did not understand the scope of what had happened. A year later, the same thing happened, and I went through the same exact things. This time, however, my life went into a downward spiral that led to attempted suicides. I was in a state of depression for many years and was unable to share why with anyone. My parents were worried about me and did not know what to do with me or for me.
I did not want any more relationships if this was what it produced. I lived in a place of fear and depression for so long. The psychologists thought I was manic depressive; they could not figure it out. Even after my marriage and birth of my daughter, who I wanted more than anything in the world, I still tried to kill myself. I just could not get peace, happiness, nothing.
After that suicide attempt I went to the altar and asked Jesus to forgive me and He did. I was able to go on and locked that away in a box. I was living life, doing good, being a good wife and mother, but there was still something wrong.
It was not until 2004 that I came face to face with an abortion message in church and ran to the counselling pastor. He said to me that they had been praying for me for five years, and I could help other women with their pain. I thought he was crazy. I was afraid to share my story, to come clean about who I truly was. I did not want people pointing at me and saying things about me. But I did move forward and helped at church. But God was not finished with me yet. During a Bible study in which I was one of the leaders, He showed me where I was still captive to the abortions and that He wanted full healing for me. I had to share with two other women and one of them told me of a crisis pregnancy center. I called the Director and she told me her story and that they were about to begin a Forgiven and Set Free Bible study for the post-abortive women. I did not think that I needed it, but I talked with my husband and decided to do it. It was truly amazing, I received full freedom from my abortions, and I could truly walk knowing God forgiveness and that my babies were with Him. I could own them.
After that I began working in the crisis center and was able, through the Holy Spirit, to share my story and see women and men choose life for themselves and their babies. I was asked to speak at the banquet, at church, and at schools. It was impossible for me to receive healing and comfort from God and to withhold it from others. That's why I am silent no more!
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Silent No More Awareness Campaign: Reach Out - Educate - Share
www.silentnomoreawareness.org |
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