It Feels the Same

  AM
,  United States
 
 

I’m writing to you, to tell you my story.  Thirty-two years ago, after my second son was born, my husband and I decided we didn’t want any more children.  So I had my tubes tied.  We were in our late twenties and my so-called idea was that two boys were enough. What a crazy way when we are young to think. 

Today I’m so sorry.  I regret what I did every day and ask God to forgive me… 

Our family is small now; I feel it’s my fault for what I did 32 years ago.  I regret now not having more children, and now it looks like we’ll have only one grandchild.  I feel this is my payment for what I’ve done.  I didn’t have an abortion, but it feels the same as these women that did have an abortion - that empty feeling. 

I’m 61 years old now, but there isn’t a day that goes by that I feel sorry for what I’ve done.  My arms feel empty for the children that I didn’t have. My love for Jesus is strong now.  I had to write this letter to get this guilt feeling off my mind. When I hear young women talk and say they don’t want too many children, I tell them to think it over before they do something.  And I tell them not to make a mistake like I did when I was young.  -- AM

   
   
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