I was 4 years old when abortion-on-demand became legal in this country. Abortion was never talked about it in school, at home, not even in church. So, I really didn't know much about abortion until I had one day in April of 1988. That's when I learned the appointment was easy to set up, with minimal questions asked. I learned there were no alternatives offered, no counseling, no chance to meet the doctor that would perform the abortion. I also learned that the "real choice" is how you will pay; by cash or credit card. I did have an ultrasound, but I was not allowed to look at the screen. I wonder, "If I had seen my baby's heart beat, would it have given me the courage to leap off the table and run far away from that place of death?"
After the abortion, I was never the same. The guilt and shame was unbearable, but when I came to terms with what I had done, and learned of God's mercy and forgiveness, I was able to start healing. I went through a post-abortion study, ending with a memorial service to dignify the life of my child. I learned it is healthy and normal to grieve the loss of our aborted children, even though we lost them in an abnormal way. Some of my family and friends may be hearing of my abortion for the first time in this testimony, and I hope you understand why I can not remain silent on this issue.