I wanted you to have a different side to this abortion discussion; a man's side.
When I was 17 years old, my girlfriend was 16. We were happy, "In love," as it goes. We had some fun together and we did had unprotected sex and never thought of anything else.
She became pregnant and somehow at the time, 1975, we found ourselves with the new law that said we could get an abortion. We used her mom's Medicaid card and went downtown and we had, or should I say, "She" had an abortion. I saw some of it and it stayed on my mind. We stayed together for a while after that. I mean we were young and basically life moved on from there. We parted ways.
I soon met my wife and we married; it has been 27 years right now. For many years, I had suffered guilt and sadness involving my part in the decision to have an abortion years ago. Television shows and news related to abortions always made me feel sad and depressed. In addition, we had three children. But knowing in the back of my head that I had a fourth child and chose to not have him, I was always thinking, "Oh. What would have been?" I always felt guilty. I did not have any relief from the guilt. I always asked God for forgiveness - out loud and in prayers. I still did not feel right with myself.
Later, in the 1980s era, I had some problems making ends meet; some tough times. Somehow, I was to meet a very nice person - a Baptist minister who would help my family through this hard time. We would talk and say prayers together from time to time. But, one day I confided to the minister about my past; about the abortion and my guilt feelings etc. He asked me, "Have you asked for God's forgiveness?" I said to I had asked God so many times; any time every time I can. The minister said to me, "You have only to ask God once for your forgiveness." That changed my life because I always asked for that and it seemed that that is what I have now.