Through the Grace of God I Can Speak

It was November 1973… They told me it was legal… I was 18, scared, and with a boyfriend who did not want anything to do with the whole situation. I was strong-willed and rebellious and this started my “I’ll show you” journey.  As a result, I made irresponsible choices and between the ages of 18 and 26, I aborted three of my children. I was not practicing any birth control and not seeing that sex is God-given let alone understanding the consequences. Intellectually I knew, but I was careless and self-centered. It was easy to make choices all on my own reluctantly, quickly, and without turning back. I was accountable to no one but me. After each abortion I pulled myself up by my bootstraps and buried the reality so far that nothing was going to bring it up. 
 
I threw myself into my work and had success. I got married at 29 and wanted children. I told my husband that I had had one abortion. I convinced myself that it was only one. My marriage ended after five years with no children. Once again, I threw myself into work and substance abuse. I had a very responsible job and I looked good on the outside, but I was dying on the inside. My haunted past created a big hole inside that I was unable to fill.
 
I want my voice to be heard. I do not believe that abortion is an answer to anything and I am sorry that it was ever legalized. Had it not been, I might have made different choices like telling my parents or seeking help.
 
What I did was wrong. I would love to have those 3 children today.  I know that I will see them in Heaven because I have been saved and born again through grace and faith. Praise God.