I was 15 when I had the abortion and did it because
the immense pressure to do so from my parents, though I did have a lot of
friends of the family try to persuade me not to. I even had a family that was
longing to adopt even write me and plead with not to. The procedure was a two-day process and each
time was so emotionally draining. It was very uncomfortable as far as pain goes,
but much of what I went through I cannot remember. I believe I had already started to block it
out before I left the clinic. They did
try to counsel with me, but getting out of there was my only goal.
I returned to school and just waited for anyone to
say something; it left me feeling tense, insecure and constantly afraid of judgment.
I know I wouldn’t have enjoyed having the father of the child in my life for
the rest of mine, but if I had to choose again, I simply would have opted for
adoption.
After years of trying to forget, I heard a speaker
from a local women’s clinic say that they needed volunteers and before I could
do that I would need training and if I had had an abortion go through
counseling myself. I did go through the once-a-week counseling sessions with a
small group of women for 12 weeks, but have never gone to volunteer. I was
still afraid of someone finding out and then I would have to share my story.
I have turned my life over to Christ and am sure he
will use it for his glory one day.