My Story of God's Mercy and Forgiveness
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Erin
Arizona,
United States
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My story of God’s Mercy and Forgiveness goes like this: I was raised in a very typical Catholic home; Mass every week, loved by both parents. I was pretty much raised to go out and make good decisions without much guidance.
Looking back now, I realize how little self-worth I had. From the time I was 14, I was always looking for the boy who would love me. I was 19 when I met Alex. He somehow convinced me I was lucky to have him as a boyfriend and I better appreciate it. Somehow I did. For three and a half years, my life became about him. My friends and family became obsolete.
It was the winter of 1989 when I realized my period was late; a quick stop to Planned Parenthood confirmed what I already knew. Pregnant! Going to my parents was out of the question. They were already disappointed in all my recent decisions. The only thing I could think of was I had to end this and fast. I wanted no part of raising a baby and I could not bring a baby into the abuse I was suffering at the hands of my boyfriend.
The counselors at Planned Parenthood quickly scheduled an appointment and ultra-sound. While doing the ultrasound, I was told it was best to not look at the monitor, so I didn't. I was scheduled for an abortion the beginning of January.
I arrived at the clinic early in the morning I was given a brown paper bag with antibiotics and pain medication. I was ushered into a room with about 10 other women and that is where I remained until my name was called. I was quickly ushered into a room given an IV of something to make me drowsy. All I remember is the sound of sucking and talking. The next thing I know, I am in a room with the same women laying on beds some crying some throwing up. I myself began to vomit. I couldn't get out of there fast enough.
As I sat on the curb of the clinic waiting for Alex to bring the car around I remember looking up and seeing a bunch of people holding signs and rosaries. I thought, you have no idea what I just went through. The months after my abortion the pain and guilt ate away at me. I was always looking at babies that would be the same age as mine. It became an obsession. I soon ended the relationship and started attending Mass. I went to confession; it was during that confession that I named my baby girl Theresa. I met and started dating the youth minister of my parish. We were married two years later; during our wedding kneeling in front of the statue of Mary my husband spiritually adopted Theresa. She is now a member of our family and our little angel in heaven. I long for the day I get to hold her and tell her how much I love her.
I know I am forgiven and have forgiven myself. I pray for the day when women no longer have to endure the pain and agony of abortion.
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