Infinite Mercy

  Patricia
Arizona,  United States
 
  Dearest brothers and sisters, 

I am post-abortive of several pregnancies and I am coming forward today to tell you how abortion has affected my life. I want to share the sorrow and pain these abortions have had on me for 31 years. I am here to speak about the forgiveness I found through God’s love and infinite mercy and bring hope to you about the healing that is available.

My path started when I was 13 and lost my innocence by a predator who drugged me and had his way with me; this was the beginning of all my problems. At age 16 I met a young man of my dreams and fell in love. I got pregnant! My first abortion was not my decision, but my mothers, God rest her soul. I have forgiven her as Jesus said on the cross, “Father forgive them for they know not what they do.”

During the time in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood, I can remember I was crying and begging for my mother not to make me go through with the abortion. No one at the clinic did anything to stop it from happening; in fact they rushed me in quicker to get me out of the lobby. My mother bought the lie that abortion would fix all our problems. Nothing is farther from the truth! Abortion held me back from maturing and growing up and it robbed me of love, peace and joy.    

As time went on I got involved in drugs and promiscuity, which would lead to several more abortions and dropped out of school. I was married at 18 and divorced by 21. Married again and divorced now on my third marriage of 21 years—this too almost ended in divorce.

During all these years of adolescence to age 30, I had several failed attempts of suicide. I experienced so much grief, confusion, anger and depression well into my adulthood.  I led a destructive life. I did not know how to love anyone or myself, but by the grace of God, there go I.

I found help and forgiveness through the direction of my priests to Rachel’s Vineyard back in 2003. It has been a long journey to healing, but looking back, I can see that God had a divine plan for me and has carried me and been alongside me through it all. It took me a while after receiving God’s forgiveness to forgive myself, but now I am finally free! I am free and I vow to be “silent no more.” I am here in hope that my testimony will encourage others to find healing and speak out.

Let me leave you with this reading from Leviticus 19: 17-18: “You shall not bear hatred for your brother in your heart. Though you may have to reprove your fellow man, do not incur sin because of him. Take no revenge and cherish no ill will against the children of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the LORD.”
   
   
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