I had my first abortion because I was young and had not fully understood the decision my parent made for me. The second one was because I did not want the man I was dating to feel trapped, because at this time I was a single Mom.
During both of my abortions I felt numb and helpless. Almost as if life had stopped for me. Possible I was feeling my babies’ pain.
Immediately following my abortions I was a mess emotionally. For over twenty-five years I thought my pain and guilt and shame was from a gang rape I suffered in Jr.High.
As time went one I had a feeling of loss, separation, not being worthy, critical and very defensive about everything. I am still working on that one.
I found help and forgiveness through faith in God who led me to a program called Her Choice to Heal. I followed-up with a Bible study called "Discerning the Voice of God". Please forgive me I do not remember the authors.