I want to share my story in hopes that it will help some young woman not endure the regret I deal with on a daily basis. I have been involved with my boyfriend for over six years. It was an on again/off again thing. We got off track after year three and struggled for a while. We had a hard time being together, but even harder time being apart. I was so ready to get married and start a family, I already had an 11 year old from a previous relationship.
I found out I was pregnant two years ago. I immediately was excited, but yet also nervous as to how things would play out with us. I desperately wanted to get married and have the baby. I also wanted to get married and set the right example for my daughter. It was okay at first, but when we set a wedding date and talked about marriage things began to spiral. Time kept passing and things were getting worse. I was an emotional wreck. I handled things so poorly and was pushing my boyfriend away when he was dealing with his own issues.
I decided to have an abortion, but no one would take me. He refused as well as did my friends. I felt so alone and didn't want to have a child and not be married. I was so fixated on that. My boyfriend finally agreed. The clinic told me it would be a two day procedure. The first day I was at the clinic during counseling filling out paperwork I was an emotional wreck and crying hysterically, but I knew my boyfriend thought we weren't in a good place for marriage so I saw this as my only solution, even though I so did not want to do it.
Immediately after we left and went to the hotel room I began to panic. I didn't care anymore about marriage or any of that. All I knew is I wanted my baby and the rest would work out. I called the clinic and told them I changed my mind, they told me it was too late. I explained, NO, I want to keep my baby please what can I do. They again told me it was too late. I then was in shock, I didn't know what to think or do.
I have grieved for my baby every day since that horrible day. I am sharing my story because it was not too late! I have since researched and found other women who changed their minds at the very last minute during a second trimester abortion as well. It was the clinic that lied to me and I didn't know where else to turn. My baby was still inside me and it was not too late, but I didn't fight hard enough because I went on what they told me. My hope is that if anyone is contemplating an abortion and you change your mind at the last minute YOU CAN!! Don't let anyone tell you differently, especially the clinic. Many clinics just want your money and your nothing but a statistic to them. I would still have my baby if they cared about us. I have not found healing and forgiveness yet, I am still working on that.