Sickeningly Easy

  Susan
North Carolina,  United States
 
  My biological parents divorced when I was very young. My mother left the Catholic Church and re-married an atheist. Most of my childhood thereafter was not built around any church life. My oldest sister became pregnant at 16 and married her boyfriend; the marriage was in shambles by the time I also became pregnant at 16. So, I was afraid I would suffer the same fate and wanted an abortion, which had not been an option for her 6 years prior.

My mother (who as a former Catholic) knew better, but she allowed me to have the abortion because my stepfather did not want any babies brought into the home. I would have to leave.  I was the valedictorian at my school graduation, which would help understand why I was concerned about quitting school.

I ended up marrying the father anyway, two years later after I graduated. After three years of marriage, I accidentally became pregnant. He insisted it was not time for children. We agreed to abort again. Then, only two months after, I had a serious stomach flu.  I apparently threw up my birth control, and I got pregnant again. So, we went to Boston and aborted again.

After ten years of abuse in the marriage, we divorced. I then met another man who was not Catholic but a very good Christian. After dating for 10 years, I got pregnant. I suggested I could abort the child, and he said absolutely not! He married me that very week. I ended up miscarrying at 15 weeks. We tried three more times for a child, and I miscarried each time.

Finally, in 1996, I had a successful pregnancy. I gave birth to a son and decided to raise him in the Catholic Church. The more the years went by, the more Catholic and Christian I became in an effort to help him find Christ.

He is very pro-life, and I have encouraged that. My husband has converted to Catholicism also.

Now that I have studied the Christian faith, I have a complete understanding of the horrible sins I committed in the past.

I wish my parents had taught me about the culture of life, chastity, the dignity of life, and the dignity of self.  I am so sorry that I committed such atrocious acts against the life of my own children.

Although I never actually loved the father of those pregnancies, I could have still carried them to term and given them up for adoption. I realize that if I had carried the original to term and given it for adoption, I never would have had unwanted pregnancies again.

Abortion is a sickeningly easy way to cover your tracks.

Thanks for letting me vent. God bless you.   
   
   
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