I Want To Share the Truth

  Cynthia
Ohio,  United States
 
  I was 14 years old in 1972 when I had my abortion.  My boyfriend was 18, and he was afraid they would press charges if he didn't consent to the abortion. We were just miserable. My parents said we had to make the final decision, but we didn't feel we had a choice. Since this was before Roe vs. Wade so we flew to the Madison Ave Hospital in New York City.  

There were three of us in a ward, and there were many women in the floor. Many women were walking around with IV poles. I heard a lot of moaning and crying.  Many of the women had to go through labor, but I was "lucky" because I was only 12 weeks, and I could have a D&C. The anesthesiologist said, "If you like our business come back again.”  He was trying to be funny. When I woke I clenched my tummy, realizing my little Christopher Micheal was gone.

The women in my ward were crying at their loss and the nurse reassured them that, “It was not a baby but a blood clot." My boyfriend and I had agreed to cry together so I remained silent and stoic.  I told several people about this abortion hoping they could fix me and make me whole again.

 In 1973, pregnant again we were married and moved to Columbus, Ohio. Six months after Jessica was born, I went to counseling for the 1st time. And I have been in counseling many times since for Major Depression and suicide ideation.

We had 4 children. He started beating me in 1976. I thought I deserved the beatings. I was always tired, blue, and lonely. I hadn't finished high school, and I felted so trapped. I finished high school in 1984, left my family, and went on to become a nurse. My ex and I shared custody.

I was promiscuous and married three more times. I drank heavily, always trying to fill my emptiness. I thought I was crazy.  I eventually read about the post abortive stress, and I recognized myself. I attended a retreat in Toledo and then currently am in a post abortive study group. I am silent no more because women need to know that abortion is not harmless. I am free from the chains of abortion and I want to share the truth.   
   
   
Silent No More Awareness Campaign: Reach Out - Educate - Share
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