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Megan
Ohio,
United States
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My name is Megan, I'm currently 19 years & 1 day old. I recently had an abortion on April 3rd 2014 10:00 a.m. Before I had come to my final decision, I struggled making the decision. I knew in my heart it was wrong. Every time I thought about it, my baby would give me flutters. I would cry to her and say how sorry I was that it would all be over soon.
It took me about a month to make my final decision. I went to Georgia to see someone I loved so much, and we were split up at the time. He wanted me to keep the baby and said he would raise it with me. All I ever wanted with him was a family but only with him.
Going to Georgia made me realize I wanted to have the abortion. I stayed at my aunt’s for a week, she is the one who took me for the abortion. My brother is in prison, and he was disappointed in me, which was another reason for my decision.
The day of my first appointment was fine, until I walked in the building. I broke down while waiting to be seen. At first they did an ultrasound and asked if I wanted to see it. I said I only wanted a copy and asked them to fold it because I didn't want to see it yet. I saw a close friend of mine in the lobby. We talked and shared our ultrasound pictures, and I went back to speak to a nurse. She was ruthless, basically saying my baby wasn't a baby and that it wasn't a big deal to have an abortion. I was 12 weeks and one day.
My next appointment was the surgery day. It was a Thursday, a very rainy day. It felt like I was in a daze. I went back and got undressed, and then I automatically felt guilty. I laid on the bed, and they started my IV with a medicine to relax me. Then the doctor came in, and they gave me the anesthesia. I before I fell asleep I remember how big the room looked and that there were tubes and jars on the counter.
I awoke in so much pain and the bleeding was awful. I went back to my aunt’s house and, once the medicine wore off, I broke down. I couldn't believe what I had done to my daughter. I then came clean to my mom, and she later accepted my decision
The first month was the worst, but then I met a guy who helped me through it. He still helps me. It’s been three months and all I do is drink and do pills to try and suffocate the pain. Some days I don't want to live. I feel like I need to have a child now.
Abortion is never the answer. Adoption is an option. This is in memory of my daughter Adysan Renee Jo'Lynn. This is why I am silent no more.
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Silent No More Awareness Campaign: Reach Out - Educate - Share
www.silentnomoreawareness.org |
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