I Have Been Restored

  Rose Ann Rita
Florida,  United States
 
  I had an abortion because Planned Parenthood with Bernard Nathanson has used Roe V Wade to make (kidnap, rape, murder, and extortion) abortion legal at any time for any reason.   They forced me.

Before coming to the clinic, I had tried to figure out if abortion was right or wrong for three days.  Half of me said it was okay, half of me said it was bad.  Pregnancy can make you tired—stress even more so.  I thought I was going to crack up, so I decided to go to the clinic and then I would know if it was right or wrong.

I asked to see the doctor and was told I could not see the doctor until I signed the paper.  When I got up to see the doctor they gave me to a counselor who did not answer questions but made statement responses, ignoring my questions.
 
Next I was placed in the stirrups and a nurse began the procedure—still no doctor.  
At this point, the Lord spoke in my spirit the words, “You have stepped out of My will, you are going to be seriously hurt.” 

I tried to leave.  They would not let me.  I felt threatened—primal scream threatened.  The nurse said I could not leave.  I tried to have my husband come in.  They would not allow it.  I realized at that point I was not in a true medical facility, because you are free to leave and your husband can be at your side in a medical facility.  I laid back in exhaustion. I wanted to leave but could not.  Puzzlement became terror.

The doctor came in and said four words.  “Do you want this?”  I did not want it, but I realized I could not leave without it.  So I said yes because I wanted to leave.  He ripped the fetus from me.  The pain was horrific.  I was bleeding heavily, but they tried to shove me out the back door with direction to hurry up and drink the orange juice so I could leave quickly.  Others were waiting to take my place.

I passed the place that held my child, a child I prayed to conceive.  I wanted to see.  The Lord spoke a second time saying, “Do NOT look, you will NOT be able to handle it.”
 
I wanted to crush the glass of orange juice in my hand.  The Lord spoke a third time saying, “Do not crush the glass, it will not help.” 

I asked about follow-up.  The doctor’s response was an incredibly familiar smack to my right buttock and a “See ya next time, baby.”  As a child I had a great family doctor.  I had no preparation for this horror.  I was enraged and amazed at the gall.

I slept for one year and cried non-stop when I wasn’t sleeping.  Then there was another year of non-stop tears.  I could not put an ornament on a Christmas tree for three years—I felt I had no right to do so or to have anything.   I felt I had no right do so or have anything ever again.  I was punishing myself.

I started walking again at the prompting of Pro-Life Action League’s Joe Scheidler by organizing picketing of Tampa abortion clinics.  I picketed and served as a sidewalk counselor there daily for eight years.  I divorced.  I’ve been radically pro-life and struggling financially since 1980. 

I determined to do every good thing I can to see an end to legal abortion.  Had it not been legal it would have never crossed my mind.

I found help and forgiveness through meeting Nancy Jo Mann from WEBA (Women Exploited by Abortion).  I finally found someone who knew and respected the depth of my pain. 

Project Rachel helped, but again there was no follow-up—I felt stranded emotionally.

Twenty-six years after the Lord knocked me out in the Holy Spirit, He spoke to me and I now know that I never wanted it—I have been restored, my self-respect and dignity.
   
   
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