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Karen Victoria
Massachusetts,
United States
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I had an abortion because I was drowned in SHAME. I was 17. The actual date: blotted from my memory. November 1973. Roe vs. Wade had passed in the beginning of that year.
That new law 'sanctioning abortion' was implanted within my disgraced, teen-aged mind. Tragically Roe vs. Wade had legitimized a 'so-called solution' to my dire dilemma.
Somewhere unreachable and BURIED, I saw this was wrong. Riding in the car with my mother driving... me to the clinic, I was hysterical. For the entire fathomless trip, I cried uncontrollably.
During the procedure I felt dead. Everything was MEANINGLESS. A lie. Shattered. I felt eternally damned. Scrapped. Broken-hearted. I was nothing. Vacuumed outside-of-myself. And left.
Silenced. Afterward I wore my abortion #: BRANDED FOREVERMORE. Invisible. Rendered mute.
I felt: 'Life-Sentenced:' 'it was a crime to be alive.' That wove me into this tangled, ghastly path. Diagnosis: Major Depression with suicide ideation. This was my life. In and out of utter despair. I struggled with failed relationships and jobs; lost homes. I lived in crises: financial; domestic violence; abuse; alienation from my family; and my storybook St. Valentine's Day marriage failed, nearly murderous.
Ravaged. I cried out to God. He heard me from His holy hill. Mary placed her mantle of protection over me.
I found true healing through countless annointed priests.... Clinging to my pearl rosary, I was led to Rachel's Retreat. Captured in alabaster jars was every one of my endless tears. Like Rachel's whose children 'are no more...'
Once those tears had drowned me in shame.
Now I drown in Jesus' fathomless ocean of Divine Mercy and forgiveness.
I was given a Gift: a pearl rosary. Blessed by Pope Francis at the canonization of St. Pope John Paul II.
I touched Jesus' hems. A Revolution. And He healed me. The prophet Isaiah proclaims: 'Wear a garment of praise, not despair.'
Psalm 30 rings out: 'To the end that my heart may sing Thy praises and not be silent.'
"'And that is why I am Silent No More.'"
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Silent No More Awareness Campaign: Reach Out - Educate - Share
www.silentnomoreawareness.org |
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