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Cherryl
North Carolina,
United States
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I really do not remember a lot of details. My mind has locked those away, and it has become very hazy. It's like it was not even me at the time, but yet I know it was me.
I became a Christian as a young girl and was very pro-life. My family was very strict Southern Baptist, and I was very naive. My father was really my step-father who adopted my sister and me when our mother married him, and he raised us as his own. I never really knew my real father until I was 18 and then only very casually. My stepfather was a very good man, and he tried very hard to raise us right. He once made a statement that if one of his girls got pregnant and wasn't married, he would kill himself. I took him seriously. I'm not blaming him because I was the one who flirted and gave myself to a guy, thinking it would be no big deal. But it only took one time, and I found myself pregnant.
I knew the guy didn't want a family, and my family expected me to go to college and get a degree. I was the oldest and an honor graduate. I was accepted into nursing school on a grant. I went to a crisis line pregnancy center and they told me about abortion. They told me how to get it paid for and where to go. So I did it, and it seemed like after that I just didn't care anymore about who I slept with. I continued on in this long spiral of boyfriends, etc. and I knew how to fix the "problem" if I became pregnant.
I was in a long term relationship with a man and we were engaged. When I became pregnant, I thought he would be okay with having a baby. But he didn't want a child yet, so he paid for the abortion. (He didn't know about the others.) We did get married, but it didn't last long. Looking back, I think the abortion had a lot to do with it.
I am married to a man now for 26 years who loves me and would not even think of aborting a child. (I was pregnant when we got married, but I lost the child). We've been through two miscarriages, and we have two healthy adult children. He doesn't know all the details, but he does know that I have had more than one abortion. That is why we stand every year in life chain. He understands why I must speak out.
I am undeserving of all God has done for me. If I can be of any assistance, I will do what I can. I have shared my story with some other women and feel that it has done some good. It is not easy, but it must be done. I have days of sadness and fight depression at times. I feel that I am held back at times by some voice in my head telling me that, "You are not worthy of this or that because look at what you have done!" That is when I turn my eyes upon Jesus and He smiles and tells me He loves me no matter what! That is the message I carry with me from day to day. If He can love me and forgive me then He can love and forgive anyone!
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Silent No More Awareness Campaign: Reach Out - Educate - Share
www.silentnomoreawareness.org |
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