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Debbie
Ontario,
Canada
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Ten years ago I stood where you are now, listening to the women and men of Silent No More Awareness tell their stories for the first time in Canada. I remember feeling like such a hypocrite. Breaking my silence publicly was definitely not a part of my plan. My secret would go to the grave with me. The following year, by the grace and mercy of God, I was on these steps for the first time sharing my testimony. It was the gentle and humble presence of those first courageous women and men that enabled me to be set free from a silence that had crippled my soul for almost 19 years.
In 1986 I was 31 years old, the survivor of an abusive marriage and the mother of a 5 year old son. I became pregnant as the result of acting out inappropriately to the marital abuse and out of a need to be loved. I chose abortion because I had no support, no choice, and I didn’t want to bring shame to my family.
After a brief consultation with clinic workers at The Bay Center for Birth Control, the abortion was scheduled at Women’s College Hospital in Toronto. There was never a panel of doctors, only the abortionist. I was physically examined but never offered an ultra-sound. My abortion was a 2 day procedure which began with laminaria being inserted into my cervix and ended with my baby being torn apart and then suctioned from my uterus. I was told I was 8 weeks pregnant, however, the 2 day procedure I endured convinced me that my baby was actually taken in her second trimester. This explained why I was told I needed to have this done as soon as possible. When I awoke from the abortion procedure I began crying, “I want my baby. Where is my baby?” I had changed my mind but it was too late and I was told to shut up because I was upsetting other people in the recovery room.
I became a full blown alcoholic, suffered from depression, and entertained thoughts of suicide. My daughter, Noelle Marie, died of unnatural causes in the fall of 1986. I am her voice now because she was the one who had no choice, not me. I am Debbie and because of your love and support I will forever be Silent No More.
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Silent No More Awareness Campaign: Reach Out - Educate - Share
www.silentnomoreawareness.org |
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