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Juliette
Missouri,
United States
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I found out I was pregnant when I was 18 years old. When I found out I was fearful, ashamed, and desperate. I felt like I had no one to turn to for help. I was not in a relationship with the father of the baby, and he was no help. So, in reality, I really didn't have anyone, because I felt I could not turn to my parents. I ended up turning to a few of my close girl-friends, but they only asked me the question: "What are you going to do?" I felt like I was all alone.
Soon, I turned to another friend, and she recommended I consider an abortion because of how bad my situation was, the fact that I was a young single girl with no job at the time. I felt like it was my only option. So eventually reluctantly agreed I would have one.
After desperately getting together the money, I had an abortion 12 weeks into the pregnancy. The experience was the worst experience of my entire life. I felt like I was treated with great indifference by the staff and everyone there. It was an extremely painful experience physically, mentally, and emotionally.
Immediately afterwards a tidal wave of regret and shame came over me and did not leave. I couldn't just get back to normal life. I knew what I did was horribly wrong and could not be taken back. I became very depressed, and I isolated myself. I dealt with suicidal thoughts, anger, guilt, sadness, grief, and emptiness.
As time went on after the abortion I hit rock bottom. My life grew so dark that I couldn't handle it anymore. I thought about and talked about wanting to take my own life, which led to me being placed in a mental hospital. After being there for a while I was eventually blessed with the opportunity to meet and talk with a local priest and, by God's saving grace, was able to begin to receive God's forgiveness. This helped me a lot. As more time went by I was then blessed to be able to find wonderful support through the Rachel's Vineyard Ministry.
Life has not been easy and, after years of pain and anguish, I have finally found help and forgiveness through God. Through Him I have been able to forgive myself. This is the reason the shame and guilt have been lifted and that's why I am silent no more!
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Silent No More Awareness Campaign: Reach Out - Educate - Share
www.silentnomoreawareness.org |
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