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Michael
West Virginia,
United States
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First off, I am a male and I have noticed that most abortion healing ministries are heavily, if not exclusively, geared toward females.
I am currently 58 years old, unmarried (although engaged), and do not have any children. When I was about 33 years old, my girlfriend became pregnant. Together, we decided the best thing for her to do would be to get an abortion. She was already raising three young daughters from a previous marriage. I accompanied her to get the abortion. It was a traumatic experience for her, but I was indifferent about it at the time.
My girlfriend and I were engaged for two years after the abortion. We broke up and she remarried within six months. She had one more child, a boy, with her new husband. I haven't spoken to her since.
I pushed this abortion decision to the back of my mind, but I never could completely forget about it. About 10 years after the abortion, at the age of 40, after breaking up with another girlfriend, I became depressed and sought counseling. I had several personal issues I needed to deal with, and the abortion experience was one of those issues. I first sought counseling from one of my uncles, who was a minister. I was very guilt-ridden at the time and even having suicidal thoughts. My uncle prayed with me, and I accepted Christ. That started the healing process, which lasted several months. At first I sought secular counseling but felt that Christian counseling would be more beneficial. I was on anti-depressant and anti-anxiety meds for about six months. However, I realize now that these meds just covered up the symptoms but didn't address the real problem.
At some point during the healing process, I became aware of Healing Hearts Ministries and have since become a regular supporter of the ministry. I do believe that as a result of the abortion decision I had trouble with commitment in relationships and also developed an addiction to pornography. Although I accepted Christ's forgiveness for the abortion, I had a problem forgiving myself. When I think about it today, there is a deep wound, but I have been able to forgive myself and accept Christ's forgiveness.
I deeply regret not having a child. Of course, hindsight is always 20/20. If there is any light that came out of this experience, it is the fact that I developed a strong relationship with Christ. Within the past year (2015), I have totally surrendered my life to Christ and am engaged to be married for the first time in my life. Healing for me took the better part of my adult life, but I'm finally at peace with myself and want to put all my past sins to rest. This is why I am silent no more.
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Silent No More Awareness Campaign: Reach Out - Educate - Share
www.silentnomoreawareness.org |
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