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Rebecca
Texas,
United States
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When I was twenty-two years old I found myself in a crisis pregnancy. My feelings were of great desperation. My parents didn't want me to continue with the pregnancy, both because of my situation and circumstances. So I went to Planned Parenthood in Cypress were they determined I was pregnant through standard pregnancy testing.
I went through their counseling regarding abortion. They told me it was just a tissue, and I remember them saying there might be people outside with signs but not to talk to them and to run in. My friend took me to the clinic and dropped me off.
I went in and got ready. There were women in front of me and behind me like an assembly line. I got on a gurney bed in a very degrading position. They started to administer the anesthesia drug to put me under. I was panicking inside. I looked at the nurse and screamed, “No.” I'll never forget the look on her face as she looked at the doctor. The next thing I remember was falling through very scary black tunnels. I was falling so fast, I was terrified. The sound was loud, like a train going fast on its tracks. Then it became so bright, and I could hear my name being called over and over again. It was so hard to come back, as I felt so heavy.
When I finally woke up the nurse told me that I had stopped breathing and my lungs had filled with fluid and failed. Later, when I was getting ready to leave, I asked the nurse if my baby had been a boy or a girl. She said it was a boy. I always wondered how she knew it was a boy when they told me it was just a piece of tissue. That always bothered me, and I think that was very cruel. I learned that when they do a surgical abortion they use a guided sonogram.
My son would have been twenty-six years old I'm so very sorry. I never told anyone what happened that day. I kept it to myself for over twenty years. Everything in our lives that is horrible and miserable is because of sin. Jesus came to save, His very name means to save, but we must ask ourselves what does He save us from? He saves us from sin. It says in Luke 19:10, “For the son of man has come to seek and save what was lost.” I deeply regret having had an abortion, for many years I wonder why God let me live. It says in Colossians 1:13-14, “He delivered us from the power of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of His beloved Son, in whom we have redemption the forgiveness of sins.”
I was blessed with three boys, two that are mine and a stepson that I helped raise since he was four years old. He is now twenty-two. My oldest son is also twenty-three and my youngest is eighteen. All of which I would give my life for. It says in Galatians 2:20 that “I have been crucified with Christ; yet I live, no longer I, but Christ lives in me; in so far as I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God who has loved me and given himself up for me.” At forty-five years old I was converted to Catholicism. I have come to know Jesus in a deep and personal way. In which I have found the courage to tell my story so you may know the true reality of abortion through my personal experience. It says in Romans 5:2-5 that “Through whom we have gained access (by faith) to this grace in which we stand, and we boast in hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we even boast of our afflictions, knowing that affliction produces endurance, and endurance, proven character, and proven character, hope, and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that's been given to us.”
The message is for the forgiven to forgive, because without forgiveness there is no love, and lacking love there is no faith or hope. To read the scriptures is not enough; we must bring them to our present lives so they will become living and effective. It's not about us. Instead, we must rejoice in Christ, ocean of divine mercy. There we will find hope, and through hope we no longer live with shame and guilt from sin because Jesus’s love is greater and because He died to be our door to eternity, just by trusting in Him.
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Silent No More Awareness Campaign: Reach Out - Educate - Share
www.silentnomoreawareness.org |
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