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Trish
Ontario,
Canada
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I was 19 when I told my boyfriend that I was pregnant...he crumbled! Said his life was ruined! In a blur of shame and tears, we went to see a doctor who sent us to "some people" who could help. "Just a blob of tissue…a clump of cells” they said! All we had to do was have it removed…And they arranged everything for us. A trip to Buffalo was made!
The abortion clinic was dark and musty. The smell was making me sick! They separated us immediately and a nurse had me change into a gown. As I sat alone I panicked. I tried to run…but a nurse grabbed me by the arm and said, "Everything will be fine." She took me down a dark hall, and I could hear whimpering behind a door. I was shaking with fear! Her arm was firm as she put me in a room with one small window and gave me a sedative. I felt like rubber! When the doctor came in, I wanted to yell, “NO!” But I couldn’t speak! I felt tugging and pain and heard a vacuum sound…I never even knew this doctor’s name.
When it was over…I felt dead inside! I couldn't believe what I had done! I hated my boyfriend, and I hated myself! Our relationship ended.
My life began to spiral out of control. This secret was killing me slowly, and I tried to escape the pain with alcohol and drugs.
At age 21 the unthinkable happened. I was raped and a pregnancy resulted! I called my ex-boyfriend and another trip to Buffalo was made. My pain and sorrow were proof that I was unforgivable!
At age 23 I hit rock bottom and attempted suicide!
I swallowed many prescription pills…the next morning I awoke, thankful for a second chance.
I became a registered nurse and came face to face with what I had done. I married twice and had children but all C-sections due to the scarring in my uterus! For years I suffered in silence. The deep pain and sorrow lived in my heart.
My church offered a program called "Celebrate Recovery", and I found healing and forgiveness for all those involved, and, yes, finally for myself! But I will always long for my two babies who were robbed of their future.
Abortion hurts everyone! It's time to save the babies! Time to stop the killing!
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Silent No More Awareness Campaign: Reach Out - Educate - Share
www.silentnomoreawareness.org |
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