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Dale
Ontario,
Canada
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I got pregnant at 16. Afraid to tell my parents, the doctor said I
should, so a decision could be made. I told them that day. My case was
reviewed by a “therapeutic abortion committee” of four doctors. They
signed a document on November 20, 1979 that stated “abortion was
indicated, as the continuation of pregnancy would or would be likely to
endanger the life or health of the patient.” I have a copy. When I try
to recall details of my abortion, there are many gaps and unanswered
questions. Abortion can cause an array of psychological and emotional
disturbances, and amnesia is one of them. I had my abortion Nov. 27th,
1979 at Cornwall General Hospital, under general anaesthesia. Back in my
room, still in a fog, I heard the nurse say "it's all over." I felt a
profound sense of loss. I was comforted by the presence of my Dad but
heartbroken Mom wasn't there. I left the hospital a changed person.
At
home, my parents swore me to secrecy. I locked that secret deep down
inside for nine years. The only way to keep it from resurfacing was to
travel down a road of self destruction - smoking cigarettes, using drugs
and drinking excessively. I became promiscuous, drifting from one
failed relationship to another. It was an attempt to cover up the
immense burden I carried and to numb the pain. In spite of falling
grades, I managed to receive my grade 12 diploma and went on to obtain a
nursing diploma.
I married at 25 and my husband and I lost 5
babies through miscarriage, a risk associated with abortion. Eventually
God blessed us with 4 beautiful children.
I suffered with
depression for 30 years. I’ve had troubled relationships, especially
with my Mom, who I felt abandoned me the day of the abortion. I wanted
to talk to her but the abortion was like “the elephant in the room.” She
would not discuss it.
In 2004, through Silent No More, I
learned the importance of healing and forgiveness for everyone involved
in my abortion decision. I wanted Mom to seek healing but she passed
away 10 years ago and we never had a heart to heart talk.
In 2008 I attended a Rachel’s Vineyard retreat and found deeper healing. I’ve served on the RV team since.
Many
people need healing after abortion. Three examples in my life are my
Dad, my eldest son, who suffers from post-abortion survivor syndrome,
and the nurse who tended to me during the abortion. I helped care for
her as she was dying.
I share my story to reach out to those
hurting after abortion, to educate the public about the devastation
abortion causes, and to help others avoid the pain of abortion. My name is Dale Barr and I will be SILENT NO MORE!
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Silent No More Awareness Campaign: Reach Out - Educate - Share
www.silentnomoreawareness.org |
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