A Dark and Lonely Place

  Karen
Michigan,  United States
 
  My name is Karen Porter, and I am from Warren, MI. 

My parents divorced when I was young, and I began looking of love in all the wrong places.  I drank and did drugs and, at the age of 20, found myself pregnant.  I had been with my boyfriend for almost two years, so when I told him I was pregnant I thought we would start a family.  When I traveled to Florida to see him, he told me he had made an appointment to abort the child.  I felt betrayed by this person who said he loved me.  Everything in me said to get on the next plane and head back home, but instead, to my forever regret, I kept that appointment.

I remember walking, emotionless, through the doors of the abortion clinic.  I remember that it seemed to the staff that it was just another day, just another girl, just another abortion.  But to me it was traumatizing.  I will never forget the fear that swept over me as I lay on that table, and the horrific sound from the procedure.  There really are no words for the way that I felt when I left that place, knowing that I had killed my child. 

To deaden the pain, I started partying heavily, and the relationship I was in could not withstand the emotional and psychological damage that I carried.  One night, alone and hurting, I cried out to the God, pleading that He come and show Himself to me.  Somehow, He did, and I knew He was with me.  I accepted Him wholeheartedly at age 24.  It was the beginning of love and hope in my life. 

I wish I could say it was all better then, but I can’t.  Even though I married a good, Christian man and had three amazing children, I would at times find myself in a dark and lonely place, wondering if the pain would ever truly stop.

Through Bible studies, a recovery group, and personal counseling, the healing process continued for years.  Then, while attending a pro-life event in Dallas, TX, the Lord let me know that it was time, that I was healed, that He had given me a voice, and that He was calling me to use it.  Through tears I said, “Yes, Lord, show me where, when, how, and to whom.”

In His faithfulness, He has done just that.  As I stand here today with all of you, know that Rev 12:11 is being fulfilled, that we will overcome, by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimonies, because we are Silent No More.
   
   
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