Nothing is Outside of His Reach

  Lauren
Pennsylvania,  United States
 
  For many years, I had a secret.  At 18 I found out I was pregnant and a worker at the clinic told me that an abortion would be quick and no one would find out or get hurt.  I thought she was the only one in the world who understood my dilemma, and that was the only choice she offered- so I chose.  A week later my boyfriend drove me went back to that clinic to abort our baby.   I remember feeling nothing emotionally. My boyfriend and I never spoke about it, and we broke up soon after.  

Like all my friends, I believed the lie that abortion was a normal part of being a woman.  I buried the grief, because the world convinced me there was no need to grieve over a bunch of cells.

Several years later, I married my husband, and we both became followers of Jesus Christ.  For 35 years I thought I was OK and believed the lie that the abortions were behind me in a past life.

Then, in 2012, I heard that my old boyfriend had died suddenly.  I was very depressed and couldn’t understand why.  Finally, I confided to my husband that, although we had not talked for years, my old boyfriend and I always had a bond—our baby.  I was shocked to hear myself finally speak the truth.

From that moment on, I became a mom grieving for her babies. I suffered from my shame in silence.

I thank God for leading me to Rachel’s Vineyard, a ministry of after abortion healing.  It was there that I finally learned that the blood of Jesus is powerful enough to forgive us for the most grievous of sins.  There is nothing outside His healing reach.

Like any mother who has lost a child, there isn't a day that goes by when my heart does not ache for my baby.  But it’s for the women and men like myself, who are sitting in churches every week needing the healing forgiveness that only Christ can bring, that I am silent no more.
   
   
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