Vigil for Jacob

My name is Ken. I was 23 years old, and my girlfriend/fiancé at the time was 16 weeks pregnant with our child.  His name is Jacob.  

One day in 2006 she woke up and wanted to abort our son.  I did everything that I could to be a voice for our son, to keep him alive. But his mother continued to want an abortion. There was no need to have an abortion, my girlfriend just wanted out of the pregnancy with our son. 

A friend of hers drove her to Planned Parenthood in Albuquerque.  The abortion of my son was completed against my will. I was hurting, feeling like I didn't do enough to save my child from going through the agonizing death of abortion. Our relationship ended that day. 

I was angry with God.  I could not understand why He would let this happen.  I started drinking heavily, to the point where I was driving home drunk, not carrying who would get hurt by my carelessness. I tried to commit suicide because I couldn't come to terms that my son was gone. 

A year and a half later the friend who drove her to Planned Parenthood unknowingly walked into my place of employment and said, “I am sorry for my part in driving her to her abortion appointment.”  I began to heal but in silence. 

I met my wife Christina in 2009, and we married in 2010.  We have two sons, Aeric and Alex.  I was overjoyed that God was blessing me with more children, but I was missing Jacob a lot more because I felt that he should have been here with his younger brothers. My wife has said multiple times she has adopted Jacob as her own child.