Sacrifice

  David
Ontario,  Canada
 
 
I grew up in an atheistic family, never hearing abortion was wrong. At 21, I was cast in a Broadway show and became a successful actor and performer. 

My girlfriend’s IUD contraceptive failed. She became pregnant.  I thought it was responsible to help pay for the abortion. I read magazines in the waiting room, hoping to escape. She came out of the room a changed person. Depression engulfed her. I dove into my career. The relationship ended.  I fathered a second child with another woman when the contraceptive pill failed. Abortion followed.

What I didn't understand was this:

At the moment of conception, I was not a "potential father". I truly was a father. I selfishly pursued my career instead of my responsibility.  Soon after, I developed bulimia and fell to 115 pounds. My voice was hoarse, and the doctor instructed me not to talk, but I was in the US National tour of "Cats". I kept singing and injured my voice permanently.  At 24 years old, my singing career was over.

I lost what I was trying to save with the abortion. I sacrificed my children on the altar of my ambition.  Addiction came into my life as I tried to run from the pain, and it drove me to my knees. I gave my life to Jesus and eventually became Catholic in 1995. 

My experience with Jesus led to a long period of celibacy and purification. My recovery from the abortions began with taking responsibility for the gravity of what I did. I received counselling and went on many retreats, including Rachael’s Vineyard. I found much healing in the sacrament of confession and sharing my testimony. 

One morning during prayer, in my mind’s eye, I was driving a car, and I tried to stop for a little girl, but the brake failed. Her face smashed against my windshield and a voice said, "David, this is your daughter". Then I saw Mother Mary holding her hand. But this time she was beautiful with no injuries. I said to Mother Mary, "Can I talk to her?" She said, "Yes, you can, David". I said, "How will I know she's in heaven?" Mary said, "She's with me, isn't she?"  That day I was reconciled to my daughter, Tina. 

On another occasion in prayer I saw my son, Benson, playing piano for a choir of angels in heaven. We were reconciled. 

Ten years ago I met Kirsten, and we didn’t believe the lie of this world that we are supposed to have sex before marriage. We practiced chastity and waited. Seven years ago, we married. 

Two years we received a tremendous gift, a miracle pregnancy with no medical intervention at this late stage in our lives.  Our daughter is beautiful and healthy. God has given me another chance.

I am so grateful to you Kirsten, and I love you so much. Thank you for your commitment to God, to the unborn, and to me.  We are Kirsten and David. We love marriage, life, and we love the unborn. We are Silent No More.
   
   
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