I had an abortion because I was in a complicated relationship...my baby's father told me we weren't ready to have a baby and that, if I aborted our baby, we could have one in time. He then gave me an ultimatum; it was the baby or him. I was so naïve, I loved him, and I thought he loved me, too. I didn't have any support from my parents and didn't think I was strong enough to raise a baby alone. So I gave in to his demands and ended my baby's life.
During the abortion procedure I felt so uneasy. I felt like a nobody, I was ushered back to a room and told to lie down. I heard the doctor enter the room and no one spoke. I heard the sound of the machine and felt the pain of my baby being ripped from my body. Immediately after the abortion, I felt extreme regret. I felt empty inside and just wanted to die. I wanted so badly to be with my baby.
As time went on after the abortion I felt extreme sadness, experienced nightmares, contemplated suicide, developed relationship issues, and became overprotective of my children.
I found healing and forgiveness through Jesus Christ. I am learning to forgive myself daily.
After 27 years of living with the pain and regret that my abortion has caused, I am ready to receive God's forgiveness and forgive myself. I finally feel free from the shame and regret, and that's why I am silent no more!