I had an abortion when I was 18 years old, because I was afraid of what my parents would say when they found out I was pregnant. I was afraid my boyfriend did not want to get married at that time. So I did the unthinkable.
After the abortion I experienced horrible regret and shame. I also had complications that sent me back to the abortion clinic twice...the second time I had to have a D&C because of hemorrhaging. I felt like God was punishing me and that I certainly deserved it.
For many years afterward, I lived with feelings of constant emptiness and worthlessness. I thought having more children would fill that horrible void and make me forget about the shame of ending my first child's life. I was bulimic and using laxatives and diuretics. I would continue to be bulimic for almost 35 years. I struggled with relationships in every part of my life. I had trouble holding down a job. I was constantly looking for a man to love me and to make me feel better. I ended up divorcing twice. I was a broken down, messy single mom with three children who could not pull it together.
I never felt fully forgiven until I gave my life to Jesus Christ. He has helped me recover from a 35-year eating disorder and helped me to pull the pieces of my life back together. He has blessed me with a wonderful husband and given me another start with a late-in-life child. And though I can't take back the things I have done, the people I have hurt, He has forgiven me, restored me and set me free. Who the Son sets free, is free indeed! I hope and pray that those who have experienced abortion can know the love and forgiveness found only in Jesus Christ and that those contemplating abortion can know that God has a plan and purpose for their lives and the lives of their babies and it a much better plan than they can fathom. I am choosing to be silent no more.