At age 22, I had an abortion. I am the fifth of six children, and my parents raised us as Christians. Crushed at an early age from sexual abuse by relatives and a family friend, I felt worthless and looked for validation from others. At the age of 20, I met a young man who seemed to be a good person but wasn’t following God. After all I had been through, I was desperate for love and affection. I became promiscuous and was soon pregnant.
I was scared to disappoint my parents, and he was adamant about aborting our child because he wanted to finish college and begin his career. A baby just didn’t fit in. To please him, I let him take me to have the abortion. There was no concern for me—he just wanted it over with. Waking up after the abortion, I was crushed all over again; my heart and soul were torn to pieces. I was in shock over what I had allowed.
I received no empathy or comfort from anyone—not even my boyfriend. No hug, no nothing! I was confused, angry, and lonely. I felt low-down, and I couldn’t tell anyone. I asked God to forgive me, but I couldn’t forgive myself because, to me, it was unforgivable. I had suicidal thoughts and battled depression. Being raised a Christian and hearing the Scriptures from my childhood kept me from committing suicide.
By humbling myself, submitting my hurt, guilt, shame, and self-condemnation to God, receiving Biblical counseling, I can stand here today and say that God has forgiven me! God has delivered me! God has set me free! God can now use my testimony of His great healing and restoration to help others in need, as Luke 4:18 says, “… to heal the brokenhearted and to set the captives free…”.