I want to share my story hoping that it may touch someone who has had an abortion and is living in shame.
I left home when I was 17- my parents divorced- my father abandoned me and my mother neglected me. I was bullied in school and attempted suicide…
Fast forward- I was introduced to this older man- he claimed he loved me - I of course hungry for attention fell for him- I wound up pregnant and he then decided our relationship was not working out.
I found myself alone and afraid. I moved out of state and into a family members home- There was not one person who supported me. No one telling me everything would be okay. No one wanted the burden of a baby. It was just easier to get rid of the problem.
What was going through my mind? Confusion- I had no idea that at conception there was a human being in my womb-After all it was only a clump of tissue.
I was given $500 and dropped off at the door of the abortion clinic- I remember People standing outside SCREAMING calling me a Baby Killer among other names. I don’t recall one gentle approach-Inside were many girls my age- We filled out paper work - money collected - we spoke with a counselor- providing information on how the procedure would be- The Dr. will take an instrument and Suck out all of the Tissue-You May feel pressure but it will only last a few minutes. Oh and we will give you something so you will be nice and relaxed . It will make you nice and comfortable.
Girls in gowns - all sitting in a assembly line- drugged up - waiting their turn.
Were these woman working in this clinic just as nieve as I was? Did they really think they were helping me? They seemed so trustworthy..
After my abortion no one spoke of it _ It was not talked about- A few years later- I married and had my first baby.
My abortion resurfaced- Shame hit me hard- I heard people (Pro-Life) saying abortion was murder ect. I heard chatter with Pro-Choice, well they had a completely different story. I was hurt and just wanted my shame to go away…. I moved forward in life- sweeping my abortion under the rug. I wanted nothing to do with the Topic.
…Years later I came to know Christ- My abortion again resurfaced- This time a Godly Sorrow hit me. I began to understand God is the Creator of All life..and it is our responsibility to protect what was given to us by God…. PRO-LIFE is not only about the unborn - it is also about the mothers who have aborted their babies- the ones who need comfort- the ones who are scared and have no idea how they are going to bring a baby into this world by themselves—. They need TRUTH and Grace….
For those who have had abortions - God Forgives- We must also Forgive ourselves.
I still have the memory of what I did but I no longer live in shame….
God has taken me through process of healing and now I can tell my story with Grace and Truth.