I didn't Tell a Soul of the Hole that was in My Heart

  Jessica
Virginia,  United States
 
 
I was 17 years-old and my boyfriend and I told his mom first. She immediately asked me not to tell my mom yet because she wanted to talk to me. She pressured me and told me all sorts of horrible things. She said it was just a clump of cells and that she had two herself. She told me she’d be happy to pay for it and that she was really thinking of my future.  I got the abortion. 

The boyfriend raped me 2 weeks later. I was still pregnant. Either they botched the abortion or there were twins. They never said a word at the clinic when I said it’s physically impossible for me to be that far along as I had just had an abortion. They just looked at me. Indifferent, uncaring and if I may say so, they acted as if I were stupid.

I carried the shame and pain for years. I didn’t tell a soul of the hole that was in my heart.  But in a church service the preacher was about to walk off stage and came back and said someone needs to be healed from the pain of abortion and I fell to my knees. I felt God meet me there. I felt love wash over me. 

Even after God forgiving me and healing my soul, I never told anyone about my abortion except my husband. Until now. I will no longer be silent to the horrors of abortion.

   
   
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