I had an abortion when I was about 20 years-old. Back then I was living with my boyfriend who is now my husband. I was raised Roman Catholic but didn’t really have a relationship with Jesus but I did know what I was doing was wrong. It felt like I was taking advantage of God because in a way I knew about God’s grace. We didn’t have much back then, but we had a roof over our heads and didn’t have to wonder where we’d get our next meal.
I had planned to go to nursing school and when I got pregnant I immediately thought my life would be ruined. I felt like I was too young and didn’t have a good job to raise a child and my husband wasn’t really responsible back then. He was immature and this had me believe we weren’t ready. I also was afraid to be judged since we weren’t married.
So, I decided to get an abortion even while knowing it was wrong. I did not tell anybody that I was pregnant but I wish I did. If only I had told my mother or my sister maybe I’d have changed my mind. For over 5 years I was living with guilt and shame. I was in so much pain and felt so much shame and guilt I couldn’t even talk about it.
Every time I saw the word abortion or I saw babies all the feelings and memories would come back to haunt me. I had lived like that for years trying to remove the memories and numb the pain, until recently when I gave God my life and finally accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior. I gave my life to Jesus in 2020 and even after then I was still struggling and was overwhelmed with the shame and couldn’t forgive myself because I had murdered my own baby.
Then, not too long ago, after lot of prayers and asking God to help me heal and forgive myself. He has helped me overcome my guilt and shame. He’s forgiven me and has given me a new heart free of doubt, guilt, and shame. For anybody thinking about getting an abortion, don’t do it. There are many other alternative ways and if you trust God, He’ll provide a way for you.
There are so many organizations out there that can help, do not be afraid to reach out. Do not listen to anybody who tells you your life would be over if you keep your baby. That baby is alive and not just a piece of tissue. And if you are someone who has had an abortion and are struggling with forgiving yourself, God has already paid the price for your sins. Cry out to Him, repent, and have faith in what Jesus did on the cross for you and you’ll be forgiven. He can stop all the torment, shame, fear, and guilt. He can restore and redeem you just like He has done for me.