Ten years ago, I first told my story at the Walk for Life West Coast. I
finally admitted what I had done.
My name is Carol Marie Siedenburg, and I’ve had 2 abortions.
In my senior year of High School, I aborted my child to deny that I
was not a virgin. It was the 70’s, a time when the world said it was
modern to have sex outside of marriage, and yet I knew that “nice
girls” didn’t do these things. I wanted to be seen as a nice girl and
my child paid the price of my refusal to be honest and do the right
thing.
I remember telling Craig, the father, that I was pregnant and
waiting to see his reaction. We’d already broken-up when I found
out I was pregnant and I didn’t love him, but it was his child and he
needed to participate in the decision.
At the time, I was relieved he didn’t encourage me to spare our
child. I now wish more than anything he’d stepped up to protect
our baby, as any father should. I remember my best friend Janet
telling me to go to Planned Parenthood, they’d help me “take care
of it”.
I remember the dingy waiting room and the “counseling” that
simply confirmed my focus on abortion, never offering me
information on CHOICES. Only one choice mattered there.
I don’t remember the procedure. I was referred by Planned
Parenthood to Kaiser in Santa Clara and was sedated, so I wasn’t
aware of the speculum or suction.
I remember after the procedure was done, the father of the
neighbor kids I babysat, who was a Kaiser doctor, called my name
as I walked away from recovery and I told my boyfriend to ignore
him, as though he had the wrong person.
I’ve often wondered if he was my abortionist and what he was
going to say.
You see, when you get an abortion, you don’t talk to the doctor
who kills your child. There is no Doctor / Patient relationship. He
does his business and moves on, paying little attention to his
patient.
My second abortion, I was in college. This time I did not want an
abortion, but my fiancé and my doctor, who had ordered an xray
exposing my child to radiation, both pressured me, until I caved to
their insistence and once again, the lie that is called “CHOICE”.
I never had the large family I’d always wanted, and I know God
twice offered me a better path towards that dream.
I was sold abortion as a solution to my problem. I now know, I was
sold a pack of lies.
It’s time the world knows Women are strong enough to raise a
child and pursue her dreams. Women are strong enough care for a
child regardless of the circumstances. I wish I had realized this
truth.
And this is why, I am Silent No