It has been 38 years since my husband Jon and I made the terrible choice to abort our baby.
We met in high school and, like lot of teenagers, we didn’t think of the consequences of having sex. After discovering I was pregnant, we chose abortion. We never thought twice about our decision, not knowing we would be wounded for the rest of our lives.
I have blocked out most of what happened at the abortion clinic. I remember other women in agony, crying and despairing. Just like our babies, my life and the lives of all those other women were sucked out of us during our abortions.
When I walked out of the clinic that day, I was not the same person. I hated myself and did not care about others like I should have. How can you care about anyone or yourself when you just took the life of a helpless baby? I also knew once a life is created, it exists forever. I totally separated myself from GOD
Jon and I ended up getting married after the abortion, but we didn’t talk it about for years. It was something that was too hard to bring up, and we never knew how to share our feelings of regret with each other. Angry and unable to forgive ourselves, we caused our children to suffer.
After attending the March for Life fifteen years ago I finally experienced the true forgiveness from my abortion. I went to confession, and the priest told me I had to let go of this sin, if I truly believed the Lord died for me and that there was no sin greater than God’s Mercy. Instantly, I felt the Holy Spirit touch my heart. When I came out of the confessional I had such a different feeling, one I hadn’t experienced in 22 years. I have also attended a Rachel’s Vineyard retreat, and Jon and I are now lead facilitators.
When I felt GOD calling us to go out and give the testimony of our abortion, we realized that our daughter, Angela, was born on January 22nd, the anniversary of Roe vs. Wade. Angela was the 1st baby we had after the abortion, and we feel the birth of our daughter is a triumph over that Supreme Court decision, which has led to the loss of so many precious lives, like her sister, who we have named Mary Elizabeth.
Jon and I know we will have to forever live with the decision and mourn the loss of our daughter Mary Elizabeth. Through the Grace of God he restored and forgave us. He has walked with us. Please know that with a repentant heart God has truly given us the strength to forgive ourselves. But more than that I would like to thank you all for offering Grace to me for what I have done and listening to my testimony. We as a nation have to stand up for these precious, innocent babies and the women and men that suffer. That is why we are Silent No More!