I miss my little daughter, who was in my belly and then I let the doctor kill her and take her out. Because of how I wasn’t sure, and I didn’t have much money, and the dad and his family said “I could choose”.
I made a terrible choice (said with a hiss on the s)
I was in no position to make.
And it just gets worse every year, more tender.
I think of her reality, inside me and now dead and outside me.
I don’t like that many women are having their babies killed in their bodies.. at the point when those babies are called different names like fetus, which means offspring in Latin, which is a word for child.
Our children spring off from us. Now what do you think I think of women’s rights?
I want the right for my child to be protected valued and loved.
I want the right to be honored with marriage before I make love.
I want the right to be cared for and my children too.
I want a strong man saying “I will protect and care for you”.
Because with a strong provider man, women can have a lot more babies
And do you know what those babies are? They are joyful, they laugh and they look just like their moms and dads. Continuity.
Does me saying all of the above make you cringe or even rage? Well, it won’t change the truth of the grief for the rest of my days. An aching emptiness. And yet what a grace silver lines the cloud.
I love my child, to the extreme uttermost that is allowed. Spiritual bonds cannot be broken by the prince of the air. He deceives only while we are here and if we dare
To make those deals with him.
Oh Devil, tho hast stolen my child
In the name of ambition that I felt so loud
I didn’t want my body to change
I wanted to stay young and fresh
I wanted to sleep in
I wanted to be a famous singer
Hopping from one gig to another
I wanted my shoe size to stay the same
Oh dear, what a loss when we act as though to gain
What fear whispered in my ear, led to this unending pain
And yet, to heaven bound, on a narrow path now I pray to see her again!
My little Emma Heather Rose
In your laughter, by me as yet unheard, is a joy only God knows