I was 5 months pregnant

At 16, my teacher noticed me going, running to the bathroom and emerging white-faced. She inquired if I was pregnant. She set up an appointment through Planned Parenthood to have a doctor examine me. The examination was positive. The worker at Planned Parenthood said I didn't need my parents' approval if my teacher would sign the forms. My teacher did. At no time did the Planned Parenthood worker give me any choice as to what options I had but abortion. Planned Parenthood set up the appointment at a place, a large abortion hospital, in New York.

Planned Parenthood told me I'd go in and they'd scrape the fetus - they never mentioned baby - from my body and I'd come home. I was 5 months pregnant!! I got there, was examined and given an injection in my lower abdomen. Then the doctor said I would have labor and the fetus would come out. After 20 hours, I had labor. I developed a fever. They gave me a shot of penicillin of which I had an anaphylactic reaction. Antidote was administered and labor stopped. Five hours later it resumed. Tired, distraught about not being at home on time, I pushed the baby out, ripping a quarter-sized hole in my cervix. They checked me and said "Looks good" and sent me on my way. This was a legal hospital!! After a month my parents finally got out of me what occurred and had me go to a doctor who took care of me. He was quite appalled that they had let me go.

At the time I was pretty numb. I kept as stoned and drunk as possible so as not to think. The father didn't relay any feelings to me about how he felt at all. My parents were pretty upset.

My guilt feelings are gone since I gave my life to Jesus. Although I am still angry with my teacher and the Planned Parenthood worker for not giving me any options. I was a very innocent young girl.

There are times when I meet someone born in '72 that I have thoughts about the child I allowed to be murdered and wish I could turn back the clock and let the child live. After the abortion I was really on a destructive path. My parents did help me quite a lot. If I had gone to them in the first place, I would have had a better chance with the next few years of my life. I do have three wonderful children now but there is still a pain. All of the women that I know that have had abortions - legal abortions - are affected one way or another. I'm not talking 1 or 2, I'm talking at least 20. These women, some in Canada, would like another chance to change the past like me.