They had left over half the baby in me

I was already with child and 17. I went myself all alone, no one knew they left over half the baby in me and I didn't know. I was seventeen and already with a baby girl of about eleven months. I went alone to the hospital to find out about an abortion. The guy I was with had a girlfriend with a baby. So I knew that it just wasn't any good and yet I knew it was wrong, but I was trapped. My Mom, I could never tell her, at thirteen left home -- at fifteen had my little girl. I went to the hospital alone --- no one knew. After it was over I called a friend and he picked me up and took me to my grandmother's where my daughter was. I was cold, white and had a sick feeling. My grandmother asked me because it was about 8:30 when I came from the hospital. She said did you have an abortion? I said, "Oh no" why would I do that. She knew! But I just couldnt say anything. I'm now 29 and about 1 month ago I told my husband. I don't know what I feel or how I feel.

After about one month after the abortion I kept bleeding. They had left over half the baby in me. I was rushed to the hospital, did several tests and D&C.

After I was married I got pregnant again. I was nineteen. I was 5 months and lost our baby.

When I was 21 we had a little healthy boy. When I was 23 I got pregnant again. My husband didn't want the baby, so I had another abortion.

We never talk about it.  He says "I'm bringing up the past". We are Christians now but I know in my heart there is a lot of unfinished garbage that needs to be dealt with. I have started seeing a Christian Counselor and my husband starts next week. Please pray for us.

When I was 27 I had endometriosis and had to have a hysterectomy. I want more kids but life chose otherwise, it is true we reap what we sow and yes God is greater than these things.