I realized I had really sunk to the pits

I am a grandmother now so my story goes back long before Roe vs. Wade. I was a small town girl working in a large metropolitan area. At age 26 I became pregnant. I had remained a virgin until 25 when I experienced what is now called "Date Rape". After that violent introduction to intercourse, I hit the low period of my life and became active in casual sex. I met a young man and fell in love. We were sexually active with no commitment. I did not know what to do. I dared not tell my parents. I felt it would "kill them". My young man and his older sister "helped" me obtain and pay for an abortion.

It was at that time, of course, an illegal operation. But the doctor's office was clean and the worst pain was emotional. The doctor told me the baby was already dead (I don't know if this was the truth) but that I should not worry about being able to have a family in the future. I experienced terrible guilt, being Catholic, and immediately confessed to a "Mission" priest and received absolution.

My young man and I were married about 18 months later and were blessed with five beautiful children. But not one day in all these years has gone by that the memory does not haunt me - and my husband too. I know that God loves us and has forgiven us, but there is always that little "shadow" whom we hope to meet and love in eternity, God willing. I now counsel young women at a pro-life pregnancy center and take some comfort from this. Also, I write hundreds of letters to legislators on Life issues. Mostly, I pray without ceasing for our cause, the suffering, dying babies and particularly for our own little victim.

At the time of the abortion, I realized I had really sunk to the pits. I have tried to be a good wife and mother but made plenty of mistakes as well.

Without that awful episode, I know I would have had much more peace of mind. But I marvel at God's gifts to our family and try to take one day at a time and just cope.