I am speaking today to tell the truth about abortion and the impact it has. I was 19, in a relationship with a young man and thought I was in love. I lost self-control and did not think about the dangers of crossing those boundaries. In several months, I learned that I was pregnant. All kinds of feelings came over me and I was so confused about my future and the future of my relationship with the man I thought I loved. How would he respond?  I was too scared to tell my parents in fear that I disappointed them.
 
Finally, I got the courage to tell the father and he revealed he did not want any part of being a father. I was devastated and even more alone with this awesome decision. In my despair I turned to a local Planned Parenthood for more information and advice.  There was no choice offered, just abortion. They took advantage of the distress I was in and I put all my trust in what I now believe were a web of lies. I did not know or was ever told the consequences I would face. My abortion appointment was scheduled quickly and in a couple of days, the baby’s father and I were sitting in a waiting room of an abortion facility mill. When my name was called and I entered through those clinic doors and my life changed dramatically
 
The abortion procedure was very painful physically. If felt exactly like what was taking place. I lay there as parts were ripped from inside me. I remember the sounds of the suction and the coldness of the room. I felt so alone. All I could do was stare at the wall biting my lip trying to get through it all.
 
In the days and months following my abortion, I would relive the procedure. I remember vividly the sounds, my pain and the images of other women recovering from their abortion and their vacant stares.
 
My relationship with the father soon dissolved. Depression started setting in and both my emotional and physical pain grew. Alcohol and drugs became my comfort from my pain. I developed a promiscuous lifestyle which included immoral relationships that offered a feeling of being wanted again, yet deep inside and inner bitterness grew and I became indifferent toward men. At the same time I found myself growing distant from the ones who loved and cared for me the most, my family and especially God. I became someone with no feelings.  This was the darkness I lived for several years.
 
I became so self-destructive my mother and sister started traveling to various churches asking many to pray for me. At times I felt God’s, call but I refused to listen. I was ashamed of what I had done. How could God forgive me?
 
For many reasons, at what I consider the lowest point of my life I heard God’s call again. I realized that there was no where else for me to go. There was no other way for me to be set free. So, when God extended his hand this time, I realized this and reached out. By His grace, I gained the strength to seek help. This gave me hope to begin to pull my life together.
 
My journey back has been long and hard. Conversion and healing did not happen overnight, but this time I put my trust in God and let him work in me. I have experienced his forgiveness as He has healed deep wounds so deep that only He could heal.

God blessed me and still blesses me with many wonderful people some of these include the priest, the first person I went to. He held my hand as I wept and prayed. God heard our voices and answered the prayers of my mother and all those she asked to pray for me. I reconnected again with in my faith through the help of people involved in healing programs.  

God gave me the gift of two beautiful children. With His love and deep understanding, He has enabled me to be a voice for those who are defenseless.
 
These have been my gifts from God that show his tremendous and unconditional love.
 
I speak today in honor of my child whose life I ended and I have a responsibility to speak the truth about abortion; a responsibility to those who have no voice, those who are inflicted by the pains after abortion to let them know there is healing. For them, I will continue to be Silent No More.