I was 15 when I had the abortion and did it because the immense pressure to do so from my parents, though I did have a lot of friends of the family try to persuade me not to. I even had a family that was longing to adopt even write me and plead with not to.  The procedure was a two-day process and each time was so emotionally draining. It was very uncomfortable as far as pain goes, but much of what I went through I cannot remember.  I believe I had already started to block it out before I left the clinic.  They did try to counsel with me, but getting out of there was my only goal.

I returned to school and just waited for anyone to say something; it left me feeling tense, insecure and constantly afraid of judgment. I know I wouldn’t have enjoyed having the father of the child in my life for the rest of mine, but if I had to choose again, I simply would have opted for adoption.

After years of trying to forget, I heard a speaker from a local women’s clinic say that they needed volunteers and before I could do that I would need training and if I had had an abortion go through counseling myself. I did go through the once-a-week counseling sessions with a small group of women for 12 weeks, but have never gone to volunteer. I was still afraid of someone finding out and then I would have to share my story.

I have turned my life over to Christ and am sure he will use it for his glory one day.