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I Wait Upon God
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Lara
Alberta,
Canada
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My sister and I were both pregnant (in our teens) at the same time. I gave birth to my baby and my sister aborted. The night before her scheduled abortion, she told me of her plan to abort and asked me to go with her to support her. I said no and so her best friend drove her. My nephew or niece would have been the same age as my son today - 21 years old.
For all these years I have lived with the guilt of not stopping my sister from having her abortion. I didn't try to talk her out of it. While I wouldn't go with her to the clinic where she aborted her baby, I also didn't tell her to not go. I didn't help her see her options and encourage her. I didn't try to tell her why it was wrong. I didn't reassure her that I would help her and we could do it together. I didn't convince her that our mom and dad would love her baby like they would mine. We both had a loving home to raise our babies in.
I still grieve over the loss of my nephew or niece. I grieve that my sister didn't have the joy of knowing her baby and raising him or her. I grieve that mom and dad didn't get to know their first-born grandchild. I grieve that my son didn't grow up playing with his cousin. In the years since, I have observed my sister's hidden grief manifest in denial, guilt, low self-esteem, feelings or rejection and abandonment, promiscuity, strained family relationships, fear of relationship commitment.
Ten years ago I began teaching a religious ethics course (I am a high school science teacher). I covered the topic of abortion with my students. As I researched abortion techniques and statistics I became deeply convicted that it was a great evil. Though I had always believed abortion was wrong, it was not until I began teaching youth about it, that my eyes were fully opened to the grotesque methods, the lies told by society, and the numbers of babies aborted in Canada, the US, and around the world. I have felt deeply helpless about the issue, but recently feel called to get involved in the pro-life movement and in assisting women in post-abortion healing. I wait upon God for His direction on how or if He can use me.
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