I had an abortion because I was 42 in 1986, had a heart condition, was suicidal, depressed, unmarried, taking Xanax, out of work, no family other than two teenage children who were solely dependent on me and no one gave me any other choices.

During the procedure, I experienced a great deal of pain and cried afterward after a period of shock. I never stopped remembering what I did. I felt betrayed by the father who took no responsibility for forcing himself on me and angry with myself for not being more aggressive in pushing him away.

After 10 years, I made a suicide attempt which should have killed me, according to doctors. But God revealed Himself and told me He loved me when all my life I had been abused and unloved by my parents and husbands. He promised not to leave me and He never did. I surrendered my heart and my life to Him and in 2003, I began to get counseling with a Crisis Pregnancy Center in Gulf, North Carolina. It took over six months because all the abuse was included in the healing.

God has been faithful and although I still remember my baby, the age, the birth date that could have been. I am saddened and filled with an empty place in my heart and my life. Thankfully Jesus is here to comfort and love me as my sin is as far as the east is from the west! Praise God!