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Testimonies
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There Is Hope
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Shelley
Michigan,
United States
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I am not the generation that legalized abortion- I am the generation that had easy access to it. In my heart I knew it was wrong, but since it was legal, I went forward with it. The appointment was easy to set up, minimal questions. There was no talk of adoption, any counseling, or chance to meet the doctor. The only interest was how it would be paid for. I had an ultrasound, but was not allowed to look at the screen. I wonder if I had seen my baby’s heartbeat, would it have given me the courage to run far away from that place of death?
I cannot remember many specifics about my abortion because I was sedated. I completely closed my mind to the memory. I can’t even remember the exact date of my abortion.
I thought I would be able to move on with my life, and never look back. But everyone looks back eventually. Some can’t stop looking, and some only take a peek now and then…but eventually …we all get honest and look back at what really happened.
Time gave me clarity to see the truth. Abortion was a selfish choice. Life would have been logical and merciful to both my child and myself, but I cannot go back to change it. I became paralyzed with sorrow for what I had done. I felt hollow and unworthy of happiness in life. I constantly wondered, “What if I had not rushed into such a final decision?”
The guilt and shame was unbearable. I prayed for help, and God answered. He brought me other post abortive women and men that had courage to tell their stories. I was not alone. There was hope for my future. Through God’s mercy and forgiveness, I was able to start healing. I have acknowledged the dignity of my child’s life through post-abortion ministries like Rachel’s Vineyard. It is healthy and normal to grieve the loss of aborted children because God created us to love all of our children, not to pick and choose which ones will live. For friends and family that may be hearing my testimony for the first time, I hope you understand why I am giving this public testimony, and will remain SILENT NO MORE about the truth of abortion.
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