Welcome to our Testimony Directory

EXPRESS YOUR REGRET

Do You Regret Your Abortion or Your Lost Fatherhood? By filling in the form below you can add your expression of regret to our list. All information remains confidential and is presented anonymously

I regret my abortion(s)

I regret lost fatherhood

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How Do I Tell My Family About My Abortion

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No One Told Me

Pam
Florida, United States

I had an abortion when I was 16 in 1972 when abortions were not legal in the state of Florida. My mother took me to the doctor who treated me as though I was a loose teen. He told us that I had two weeks to decide to have an abortion, as I was 20 weeks along. No one ever spoke to me about education, what was going to happen, adoption, parenting, nothing. My father was a violent alcoholic and all I could think of was, "I can't bring this baby into this home." I decided to have an abortion.

My mother accompanied me to New York City where I had an abortion by saline injection at an abortion hospital. After 36 hours of painful labor (all alone), I delivered my dead son. I remember the nurses laughing at me and the girl who was next to me who delivered dead twins.

Before the abortion, I never wanted to drink or do drugs. I was a quiet person, always reading and laughing. About a year after the abortion, I spiraled out of control. I became violent, angry, depressed, and sad. I was filled with anxiety, panic, and fear, and I cried all the time. I began to have nightmares, started doing drugs, and drinking. It affected me physically, as I had to have a complete hysterectomy at 33, had a benign cyst removed from my breast, and have terrible scar tissue. I was able to have one child, but the pregnancy was difficult. It took months for me to bond with my daughter. My marriage ended after 21 years.

I began to volunteer at a local pregnancy center and, in order to counsel women for the post-abortion class, I had to take a class called Forgiven and Set Free. What an eye opener that was! I had not idea that all of the mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional turmoil I had suffered started after the abortion. Thank God He has set me free and forgiven me. That is why I am silent no more. I want to help others who have made the choice to have abortions or are others who are thinking about it.

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