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Testimonies
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Christ's Mercy
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Mary Anne
Kansas,
United States
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My name is Mary Ann. As an 18 year old in college in 1975, I found
myself pregnant. My boyfriend and I were aware of Roe vs Wade court
decision—we thought if the government said it was okay, it was okay to
abort. If the doctors said it was just a “glob of protoplasm" must be
okay to abort! My boyfriend told me to do what I wanted—he didn’t try to
persuade me to keep the child. I aborted out of shame and
embarrassment and wanting to hide the truth from my parents.
Jacob
was a hospital abortion. My boyfriend took me. I remember IV's and
extreme physical pain. I was drugged up and couldn't walk to car. It
was days before I woke up. After the abortion, I suffered horrific
periods, PID, endometriosis, ovarian cysts and had a hysterectomy in
2010 to rule out ovarian cancer.
What I did not know was the physical, psychological, and SPIRITUAL adverse reactions to what I did.
We married to fix the "problem" and had a replacement baby. Divorce followed. I
suffered for years with unrecognizable guilt, shame, and sorrow and had
a series of bad relationships. I'd get pregnant again and abort. I
felt numb. I had 5 abortions. I have 5 children in heaven and 5 on
earth.
I had suction abortions—I can hear the sound in my senses
and my soul. Animals had more rights than my children. Thank God that
while they could suck out their lives they could not suck up their
souls!
I pretended to be happy in front of my kids, all the while having anxiety attacks and nightmares. It was a spiritual hell.
I
was healed by answering my Savior’s knock on the door of my soul. I
answered Jesus after 33 years. In 2007 I began my healing journey. I
attended Rachael’s Vineyard and had a beautiful memorial service for my
beloved babies. They are praying for me to get to heaven. Jesus’s Mercy
is bigger than what I did to them. For them I will be silent no more,
Thank you Jesus!
In loving memory of Jacob Aloysius, Sara Anastasia, Timothy Barthlomew, Felicitas Perpetua and Daniel Isaiah
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