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I Will Tell My Story Boldly
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Norma
California,
United States
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When I was 16 years old, I had a boyfriend, and I got pregnant. As soon as I got pregnant, he became very abusive. I had my son, and after that I swore that I would never be pregnant again. I got pregnant really easily, so I started to choose abortion, because I thought it was harmless. It was legal. It was a list of birth control on the wall at my OB/GYN's office. How could that be wrong? I didn't want to be pregnant any more, and I certainly didn't want to be abused anymore, and somehow I related that to my choice to get abortions.
During the abortion procedure, I made the decision to go in there. During the abortion procedure, I experienced cold medical staff. I was scared, I was afraid. All of a sudden, you're wondering, "What are you doing there? What am I doing there ... Or, here?” You look to their eyes, into the nurse's eyes, into the abortionist's eyes, for comfort, because they're supposed to help you, aren't they? There wasn't that at all. There were ice, cold, callous ... Ice, and just ice is all I felt. However, I continued to choose abortion every time I got pregnant. I was in a relationship that maybe wasn't working out, and I thought, "No. I don't want to be pregnant."
Someone might ask, "Well, why would you keep going in to go get an abortion?" Well, it was legal, and it was on the list of birth control. It seemed easy, it seemed harmless, and that's what they tell you. But I'm here to tell you, 30 years later, I suffered with the pain and regret of abortion. The kinds of things that I started to experience were babies crying when I was sleeping, blood crawling down the walls of my bedroom. I thought I was going crazy. Who sees that? Who? I couldn't understand it. I just couldn't, to the point where I wanted the visions to stop, so I wanted to kill myself. Every day I woke up with thoughts of, "How can I kill myself? How can I put an end to this misery?"
I heard a testimony. I was invited to a talk, much like this, and I heard a lady give her testimony about her pain and regret of abortion, and I thought that was a weird story. Why would she be talking about that publicly? However, I knew that she was speaking truth of what I was feeling, and what I was experiencing. For years I denied the fact that I had had chosen abortions to end the lives of my children. I went six times into the abortion clinic, and ended the lives of six of my children. Why? Who would do that? I was a monster. I felt like a monster. I felt like God hated me. I felt like my husband hated me. I felt like my kids hated me.
After hearing this lady's story as she stood up there and spoke so bravely about her abortion and the forgiveness of Jesus Christ, I knew I needed that. As soon as I went to the post-abortion recovery group, God healed me spiritually, physically, emotionally, and mentally, in one night! I had never experienced the garment of praise for the garment of sorrow, but I am here to say I will be silent no more, and I will tell my story boldly for anyone else who needs to hear it.
Thank you.
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